Country, tears, and why

So, why do I have tears in my eyes? haha...that's a complicated question, with so many answers. I do know that on my way home tonight, I tried all 3 country radio stations, to find something to take me away from reality, but all took me straight there...or where I would like to be. But it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I don't want to be reminded of a lost love, love gone wrong, a happy love....basically, don't tell me anything about love. It's a bunch of crap...as far as I can see...or have experienced. It's all make believe. It's not love that men have felt...but loneliness or lust or both. I give my heart and my all, and in the end, I'm alone. So no, I don't want to hear any song about it. So I turned on the local radio station - more alternative music...which is my secret passion. I love true songwriters and off-the-broken-path songs. These are real. And what did I hear? A song called something like "Know My Name". Can't even remember the artist..but very cool! See, I usually put this station on when I don't want to face reality...or want a different point of view. Country music, though I'm a fan, always has the same point of view on love. I don't want that. It's not working for me. It doesn't always heal my scars. So I listen to Lightening 100. "Know My Name". Yeah...that's what I want to hear. Someone who knows my name, who knows who I am, who takes an active role in trying to find out about me and my dreams and my goals. And my everyday life. I don't think this is too much to ask. I will treat my man like a king, so I expect to be treated like a queen. Well, at least that's what I have just realized and concluded...

See, for those of you who are married or in long-term relationships - go you! But for those of us in this society who are single, it's not as easy. Life is complicated. Between status updates and text messages and men who only show their feelings thru texts or want to "sext"-message you...it gets very lonely. I am shown nothing that they want ME - not just the woman...but the brain and heart that I have worked so hard to make real and good. Does this make any sense? Why is it that so many men who are single just seem to care about their feelings and themselves. Maybe it's because they're finally feeling emotions and they want to tell the world about it. Well, welcome to a woman's world. This is what we feel all the time. And we don't feel the need to consume everyone about our new-found addiction. It's not an addiction - it's just who we are. Mars vs. Venus. Gotta love it.

Anyway, why am I blogging about this? Who would care? I'm still trying to figure out the whole blogging thing. I guess it's a public diary. So maybe someone else out there feels the same way I do....

So, men...we like to be treated like a queen. (Flowers help! Believe me, what you will get in return is worth the 20 bucks you'll spend). And you will be our king. That's just what we do. We give. A lot. More than we give ourselves. So embrace it, welcome it, and show appreciation. Otherwise, we'll stop.

And right now, I only want to listen to songs that have nothing to do with relationships and love. Yes, I have just gone thru some personal crap....some good, some bad. But in the end, disappointment. Disappointment because of all the faith I put in someone...in their work, in their ability to love, in everything about them. But, again, that's what we do. And I guess you can't blame someone for feeling how they do...but it's hard when you have to sit back and watch them and all of their potential...just disappear....

And I just don't think I can write a country song about that....