Hello!!! I wanted to just update all of you on some exciting news!!!
I
have been in Nashville for 12 years...10 of those consisted of playing
and writing and recording songs. I have had the most amazing lifetime
opportunity here! How many people can say they have their own website,
are on Pandora, iTunes, had a song on a webseries, sang in a band,
opened for Gretchen Wilson and Charlie Daniels, got to work with
incredibly talented musicians and songwriters, was completely surrounded
by this amazing talent every single day, play in different cities and
meet lots of wonderful people, and the list goes on and on....I am
truly grateful and honored to have had these wonderful times here in
Nashville and made amazing memories and friends!
I do
believe, that at some point, you need to re-evaluate your life. This is
what I have been doing over the last 12 months. And I have come to the
conclusion that it's time to stop chasing a dream and begin walking
side-by-side life, and see all it has to offer! I now have experiences
and friends for life, and will always cherish them! But it's time for
me to move on....and I am so excited about the future and all it has in
store for me!
I will be heading overseas for a few
years, to help others. The details are still under construction. This whole
process has definitely taught me patience. I was hoping to leave sooner,
but it looks like it has been pushed back a bit. This is completely
fine with me, because I have lots to do before I go!!!
Music
will always be a part of me, and I will always keep writing, singing
and recording. But this time, it will be for the love of music
only...as a fun, creative, therapeutic outlet when I want to get away from the world and go to my happy place :)
I am so
grateful to all of you - from coming to shows, buying my music, giving
this girl's music a listen, and most importantly, the friendships I have
gained in many of you! I hope that I have inspired some of you to feel
more, think more and love more.
I am happy, scared,
excited, nervous and thrilled all at the same time with this opportunity
that has come my way! I guess they're right when they say "everything
happens for a reason". This is going to be a life-changing experience!! I
have a lot more to do, while I'm here on this earth, and it has now
come time to turn to the next chapter :) I will be
sending out an email as soon as I get more info on the details...If you
would like to be on that list, please let me know by emailing me at saricornmusic@gmail.com.
I hope you all
stay in touch with me! I'll also be blogging about this experience (as
long as I have internet access!) And I'll make sure to put a list of
items you can send to me in a care package :) Like Starbucks instant
coffee...lol...for when I miss my American ways...
Thank you all
SOOOOOOO MUCH for all of the love, support, friendship, stories,
inspiration and smiles you have given me over the years! I feel like the
luckiest girl in the world to have been given this kind of life...and
it's still not over! I can't even imagine what is in store for me next!!
Sincerely grateful and humbled more everyday, ~Johanna :)
On the eve of the 10th Anniversary (I hate this word for this particular day) of 9/11, here are some of my thoughts...
First and foremost, I can't help but think of all those who have died and whose lives have been changed because of this horrific attack. For those who used their skills and talents and hearts to help save, rebuild, and reach out to all affected, they are heroes, in my eyes. It saddens me that this happened...that we need to even worry about terrorists, madmen, and others who are out to hurt another human being. I still don't understand - and I don't think I ever will.
In my world, this day has come at a time when, (unfortunately, it took this) to make me think more about my own life...and those around me I love.
I have a really bad memory (thanks Mom! lol). But I still remember that day 10 years ago like it was yesterday. I was working at Belmont University at the time, as an Athletic Trainer. I was on my way in to work, with the radio on, as usual...just fighting traffic and trying to get down as much coffee as possible before my crazy day of rehabbing injured athletes, administrative duties, overseeing games and practices, all the while, keeping every athlete and coach happy. I heard that one of the towers got hit. I thought it was just a mistake, or something just went wrong. No plane would purposely fly in to a building! I hurried to get to my trailer-training room I was working out of, to turn on the TV. As soon as I did, it showed the other tower being hit. I couldn't believe my eyes. There is NO way this just happened. There's some mistake. So I kept watching....and then the Pentagon, and then the plane in Pennsylvania. Oh my gosh. We have been attacked. The United States of America. The most powerful country in the world. People started coming into the training room for work, and usual rehab time. They hadn't heard yet. I said, "Look....the TV." We all just stood around, watching, dumbfounded. How could I work right now?? These ankle, knee, shoulder injuries were just not important. There is something bigger now going on.
I immediately started thinking of all my friends and family who live or work in NYC. I got on the phone. I couldn't get a hold of anyone till later that day, and luckily they were all ok. But one good friend was working, at the time, right across the street from the towers. Oh gosh. Scary! I emailed my parents. They were actually over in Australia, visiting my sister (who was there for work), and told them they may have a hard time flying back in to the US. (My mom thought it was a joke at first when she read my email.) As the day went on, meetings were canceled, and I got a phone call from my boss at Vanderbilt Medical Center (who was my actual employer, I was just contracted out to Belmont) that said we are all on alert. Vanderbilt Hospital is on alert....in case it is needed for more disasters. What does that mean???? Is Nashville on the radar to be hit next?? Are more cities on the radar to be hit??? What is going on??? How can this happen???
And so we eventually all went on with our lives, jobs, etc....and now it's 10 years later.
And now here I am. Affected again by watching the videos, pictures, voices of that day this morning on the news. Tears build up, and I feel so much for those who lost loved ones. It's just not right.
And then I think of me and my life (I know, pretty self-absorbed, huh - at least I feel that way). But how can you not think of your own world. I am so lucky to not have lost anyone I know from this disaster. But now what?? What do I do now?? What am I doing with my life?? How can I learn from this??
I have recently been going thru a year-long break-up (haha...that's how I like to describe it!). I've always heard stories of people going thru a break-up, and end up moving, changing jobs, changing their lives, completely. I thought - what the heck - how can you let one little incident - a stupid break-up of a relationship - change your life THAT much??? Well, now I understand. It had been the longest relationship I have had in about 16 years. So, yes, I understand.
And now, because of this "anniversary" of 9/11, it has caused me to, even more, re-evaluate everything. My job, my music, my heart, where I live, where I want to live, what I want out of life.
My mom sent me an article about how single people shouldn't wait around for a partner to enjoy life. To not put off things, just because you're "alone." Well, it's time I stop putting my life off, and begin doing things I have ALWAYS wanted to do. I'm thinking of my new home (I have a few ideas!), I'm changing my music goals...all for the better, and will begin to learn more in my massage therapy field. Here are a few more things I've begun to add to the list: hiking - I mean, REAL hiking- like Appalachian trail-hiking, (I guess that would be backpacking) camping, get scuba-diving certified, rock climbing, taking my dog to the beach (already planned for November!), traveling to Europe (already planned for the summer!), pole dancing classes (don't judge! I hear it's a real workout! lol), cooking classes, getting involved with Habitat For Humanity and other volunteer organizations, MORE photography - getting a camera, etc.....and this is just the beginning.
I have waited too long to do these things. And even when I did have a relationship, somehow, we skipped out on doing these things. So, that just proves, that waiting around for someone, doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be able to check things off your "list". And so maybe I'll find someone who I think is awesome, who thinks I'm just as awesome, and that would be awesome! And if they want to join me in my life, that would be great! But I have things to do....with or without someone!
I have learned to love...unconditionally. I may be angry at the person who hurt me, but at the end of the day, I can't help but still love him. I want to love and care for my friends and family more. And not for me...but for them. People just want to be loved...and they want to know they're loved. And that's what love is. It's not about you. It's not about having someone in your life for your own pleasure. It's for THEIR pleasure- to make THEIR day better. I love myself enough. I need to continue to spread it to others.
I know there is a plan for me. And, apparently, it's not my "time" yet to leave this earth. So, there is something I still need to accomplish. Who knows what that is, but I'll let you know when I find out!!
I wish it hadn't taken this day of 9/11 to make me think more about life...but maybe it's a good thing. We're not here for very long, and who knows when our last day will be, and so I've decided to make the most of each hour, minute, and second of every day. Whatever I end up doing, wherever I end up moving. I can't wait! Time for the next chapter of this life I'm still learning about everyday....
To those who were affected on 9/11....we all think of you, and honor you.
I'm so excited...I'm headed back to NY this week!!!
I'll be in NYC this Friday,
(due to an unexpected venue closure, I will only have 1 gig in NYC)
and then Wednesday, I'll be in my hometown of Saratoga Springs!
Come on out if you're anywhere nearby...
Friday, June 24 @ 8pm
Cin-M-Art Space 43 43 Murray St., NY, NY
music will be happening during an art show
by my aunt, Elisabeth Jacobsen, along with 2 more of her
talented friends!
You do NOT want to miss this!!!
Wednesday, June 29 @ 7pm
Caffe Lena
47 Phila St.
Saratoga Springs, NY
MY HOMETOWN!!! Soooo excited to play here...
Thursday, June 30 @ 8pm
Hudson River Coffee House
227 Quail St.
Albany, New York
Friday, July 1 @ 5-9pm
Dinosaur BBQ
337 River Street
Troy, New York
Some other news...
My album, "Saricorn", is coming along! I can't wait for you all to hear what I've been creating...
As for Saricorn Sessions, the show will now be EVERY 3RD MONDAY!
I have lots of exciting things going on, and working on getting some
more cool people out on the show, so stay tuned....
Since things have been crazy, I'm still working on the video for "Always You".
This is good news for all of you, because if you haven't gotten your
home videos to me, there is still time!
Thanks to those who have sent video footage...I love seeing creativity!
Let me know if you have any questions about the video....
I hope you have a fantabulous week and see you soon!
Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren't very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can't do and don't have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people
Happy Friday! I just woke up to a beautiful day in Salem, VA!
So...during last week's Saricorn Sessions, I announced a pretty neat opportunity!
In case you miss it, here's the deal:
I am making a video for "Always You" and I want YOU
to be in it!
So....here's what you do -
Make a home video to my song "Always You"...and send it to me at mail@johannajacobsen.com
You can do whatever you'd like - be creative! (but tasteful, please!)
Use your dog, your friend, your mom, you singing to the song..
outside, inside, whatever!
The video can be during part of the song, if you'd like, so don't feel
as if you have to use the entire song...
I need your video by the end of May.
I'll then be taking all of yours and adding it to a video
I'm already in the process of making...
This video will then be on YouTube, Roku, and more!
If you haven't already downloaded "Always You",
you can do so HERE
I'm looking forward to seeing all of your creative work!!
Please email me if you have any questions....
Well, I have one more day in Virginia! I'll be playing at Awful Arthur's
in Salem tonight, so if you're nearby, come on out!
Also, thanks to everyone at WSLS Channel 10 in Roanoke, VA!
I had the opportunity to play LIVE on their "Our Blue Ridge" show! Pretty cool...
Check out the pictures from my Kia Tour and Kia Kam...
Also, be sure to keep checking back on my website for any news/updates.
Have a safe, great weekend and
see you all soon...
~Johanna
Sometimes I feel completely alone. I mean, not just single, or living by myself, or have no one to talk to - type of alone...but A-L-O-N-E. Like no one else on earth thinks or feels what I feel/think. That I'm in my own little bubble, or might as well be on my own island or country. Johannaland. And no one cares or gives a shit to want to know me. I mean, me...the real me. It seems no one wants to stick around long enough or take the time to find out who I really am. They all have their own agenda. Maybe this is why, over the years, I've built up walls to protect myself. And now, catch 22, it's probably even harder to find out about me. Ok, so I considered this issue. So I decided to let myself be an open book...but only if asked. Well...nothing. No one asked. So do they care? I'm sure they do. I know they do. I just don't feel it or see it. And that's the only way I'll be able to know for sure....Someone who is persistant. Pushes. Tries to find out what's between the lines. I know I do this with others. I find people intriguing. I want to figure everyone out. Then I'll know how to approach them...based on who they really are. I'm no expert, but at least I TRY. But I feel I get nothing back sometimes. And ok, maybe I'm complaining. But I just truly feel this way sometimes. I feel alone in a big crowd. Like I don't fit in. With anyone. How can I not fit in with ANYONE?? This has been happening to me for years now. How can this be? I'm a people person. I like others. I can relate, or try to relate, with others. I always felt like I could fit in anywhere. Well, I've tried all different crowds...different nationalities, interests, religions, lifestyles. And yet, none have completely fulfilled me. And so I stay alone. Even in romantic relationships. Maybe I just haven't found the "right one". I mean, I give, and work hard to know the person I'm with. I don't want just some guy to be around me. I want to know everything about him. And yet, they don't do the same back. Maybe they do. Maybe that's just men, and I need to accept that. Who the hell knows. But I do know I see couples all the time who truly know the ins and outs of the other person. But not in my world....
So I stay alone. And I'm learning to accept me and like me. And I'm getting used to being with just me. I'm kinda cool, I think. But it does make me sad that I feel this alone at times....
Saricorn - where I came from and who I'm becoming.
Ok - so in order to explain everything, I need to go back to the beginning....And forgive me during this whole process when I can't remember everything. My memory is great at numbers and feelings, but not so hot in past details...But I will do my best!! There is lots to tell....so here's the very beginning...
I was raised in Saratoga Springs, NY. I began playing the violin in 1st grade, thru the wonderful Suzuki method. I remember practicing almost everyday - even if only for 30 minutes. My father was the band director at our high school (and ended up as head of the Saratoga Springs School District Music Department), while my mother played guitar her whole life. My sister took up piano the same year I started the violin. My musical background grew into many other experiences. In 7th grade, I auditioned for, and made it into the Empire State Repertory Orchestra - 1st violin section. When I was accepted in to the orchestra, I remember having the make the decision - rehearsals were on Tuesday. I had gymnastics on Tuesday and Thursday. So, if I decided to be in the orchestra, I would have to give up gymnastics. I wish I could have done both. But this orchestra was a great opportunity! So, music it was. 8th grade, I auditioned again and made it into the "big leagues" - the Empire State Youth Orchestra. Here, I was in the 2nd violin section. (this year I had the opportunity to go on tour with the orchestra to Austria and Hungary). I played in the orchestra 2 years. I also competed every year in solo competitions, and usually did very well (I still have some of the medals I won!). My high school years brought about playing bassoon in the band, violin in the chamber orchestra, and making it into the Choraliers - a select chorus. As a senior, I was voted "Most Musical" in our class. During that same year of high school, I decided to only sing in the chorus and play bassoon in the band. I was burnt out from the violin. I felt like I had plateaued, and no matter how much I practiced, I wouldn't get any better. I remember hearing that my violin teacher cried when he found out I stopped playing. I guess I just needed a break. Though I loved playing it at concerts, I was done practicing. But during my first year of college at Ithaca College, I missed the violin, and so played in the orchestra - but just that year.
So, needless to say, music was a major part of my childhood...and something I always felt extremely talented at. Of all the things I've tried thus far in my life, music is the only thing I feel I've truly succeeded at....
